Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this piece are the author’s and do not necessarily represent the position of Positive Women’s Network – USA.
August 24, 2018
by Sian Green
Days turn into months, months into a year, and a year into years of public humiliation. How could you? How could you open your mouth to say these things? Who gave you authority? Why me? These are the questions that plagued my mind every second, minute and every hour. The feelings of hurt, pain and inevitable betrayal rapidly forced its way into my life. My anger had engulfed me; anger pierced with power and this was the beginning of THE OTHER ME.
I wasn’t myself many times; depression and anxiety had the best of me even on the days when the sun was shining. I couldn’t control the depression and the anxiety that consumed me. I went from one prescription to another trying to mend myself back together as I was before. However, this was a temporary fix, a Band-Aid to a wound unhealed. I was exposed to the world in all of my nakedness. Yes, I read those Facebook posts and viewed the comments made about me. How could someone be so cruel? The tears came pouring constantly and fear and hopelessness overcame me. I reached out to law enforcement and it was at this time law enforcement couldn’t even help me. There were not any laws passed yet that would have protected me.
So many are or have suffered in the hands of ignorance. I sat around thinking hope is near, but not yet completely accomplished. HIV and AIDS has been a public humiliation for decades. Don’t just stigmatize us! We all suffer from some type of disease or illness, but those are far from being ridiculed and many feel more sympathetic and willing to accept the other disease or illness. So what is so different about HIV and AIDS?
Well “It’s been a long time coming…” best said by Sam Cooke. Now I’m becoming the woman I was meant to be. What was once a battle with sharp swords has become tranquility. Even though my new journey just began, I refuse to let go of “THE OTHER ME.” I am not afraid to tell my story anymore. I am willing to give those who are afraid the strength to know they have a voice. I once was a product of a broken home, but now I am whole again because of God. Speak up; be your own advocate and most importantly encourage someone to tell their own story. Let your testimony be a new beginning for someone who felt like throwing in the towel.